How Do I Get My Baby to Sleep Through the Night?
When my twins were a few weeks old, I remember being desperate for them to just sleep a little longer. I mean, I would daydream about what life would be like once they slept through the night. And as it so often does, the Instagram algorithm seemed to know this and would barrage me with content from infant “sleep consultants” promising the secrets to getting babies to sleep through the night as early as 4 weeks.
I had the benefit of my training in sleep medicine to understand that this is at best false advertising and at worst toxic nonsense that could cause a new sleep-deprived mom to unravel because her baby isn’t on a clear schedule much less sleeping through the night. But I digress.
I want to share a little of the science behind infant sleep to provide a little bit of context for what’s going on with your infant’s development so that you can best support it. I’m also hoping that this will help some parents find relief from the seeming ever-present “am I doing this right?” feeling.
Sleep in the First Few Months
When you think about it, newborn development is so fast and furious that it’s almost overwhelming (both for parents and baby). Sleep is a huge part of that. Within the first months of life their sleep-wake patterns go from completely underdeveloped to nearly adult-like (almost) in just a few short months.
Here’s the important part. At birth, newborns lack a fully developed circadian rhythm, which is the internal biological clock that regulates cycles of sleep and wakefulness over a 24-hour period. That means that their bodies can’t tell time. Their sleep drive (think of this as the appetite for sleep) builds and dissipates very quickly. This causes their sleep to be fragmented and dispersed throughout the day and night, with sleep periods lasting anywhere from 2 to 4 hours. They can only be awake for a couple of hours before their sleep drive becomes overwhelming and they have to sleep it off. This pattern works for them because of their need for frequent feedings.
Eventually, the Circadian Rhythm Develops
By around 6 to 8 weeks of age, the foundations of the circadian rhythm begin to emerge. Exposure to natural light during the day and darkness at night helps newborns start aligning their internal clocks with the external environment. Around 3 to 4 months of age, melatonin production increases, supporting more nighttime sleep and less daytime sleep. At this stage, parents may notice their baby sleeping for longer stretches at night, signaling the beginning of a more predictable sleep pattern. Supporting circadian rhythm development can be as simple as incorporating consistent daytime activities, offering exposure to natural light during waking hours, and creating a calm, dimly lit environment for sleep. These practices help set the stage for healthy sleep habits as the baby grows.
So you shouldn’t expect your baby to sleep through the night in the first 8 weeks of life.
They are just not biologically programmed to sleep in large bouts, nor are they able to tell day from night. I know this might be somewhat depressing for parents who want to sleep through the night quickly, but having realistic expectations is vital here. So how to manage? I strongly encourage taking shifts with a partner or other caretaker if they are available so that the adults can get more extended sleep time, even if it’s just for half the night. I also suggest laying the foundation for healthy sleep habits so that once the circadian rhythm is on board, they are able to transition to more nighttime sleep quickly. For this, I recommend helping baby learn to sleep independently. Try to avoid always feeding or rocking to sleep. Lay baby down drowsy but awake so that they can learn that it’s not so bad to sleep by themselves. Start thinking about bedtime routines and get into the habit of a semi-regular routine (as much as is possible with a newborn). That might mean singing a particular song as they’re being laid down and making sure that they’re sleeping in the same place every night. Getting yourself into these habits will help to instill healthy sleep habits in your baby very early on.
Good luck! And, as always, Click Here to schedule a free consultation to discuss personalized plans to help get your little one into a healthy sleep routine!
